Society, Destiny & Me.
I see myself as a visionary. Not because I feel that I have ideas beyond the scope or relm of possibilities of others to convoke, but because I see solutions beyond what would be considered ‘normal’ in the society of which I observe on a day to day basis/.
The business ideas which I have, and would love to implements basically revolve around the idea that other people think like I do - that they are tired of getting something better for cheaper in every aspect of consumption. My ideas revolve around intended design towards the future; the best analogy would be investing in solar panels for one’s roof - in this fashion you are paying more for the now, but in the future you would be paying less to nothing. This idea is nothing new, but I find myself ever isolated with this idea. Or, to be more specific, isolated in the idea of one idea maybe being at the bottom of the ‘food chain’ having any real impact on the ideas, decisions or impacts of the final ‘all abiding’ ideas which come from above. Just because I may not go out drinking, cracking jokes or otherwise ‘hang out’ with one who is above me, does not mean that I am less then (or any of my ideas) are below your scope of consideration.
I long for a ‘full game reset / restart’ on society. Screw everything & everyone who is in control at the moment, because the power has gone to your heads in a way that you feel like you are doing what the people want, but otherwise are really only powering your own success or at the very least your own CV.
Set yourself a goal, not one measured by what others / society / or even your parents want, and in some way find a way to make it come true. I know that my ideas will never, ever come true. This is the fact of the world as it is today. This pains me. But I am determined to continue. I must continue; if not for others, but for myself. I just find it somewhat amusing (in a dark sense) that I have been driven to suicide so many times finally realise this simply and some what fundamentally fact about myself: I think differently to others. I always have done. I have been bullied all my life. I do as others what me to, or say I should. And yet ‘the others’ are the ones who seem to direct the course of the future.
Though, who am I to say this. I am yet a small, singular person who has failed at pretty much most things other then creativity, art & design - things were you are directed towards and commended for having individualitly. Then I also must remember that this very TXT post will go to my small, isolated Tumblr account which has been operating for such a long time. No one will read this; no one of merit anyway. So what is the point? Well kind sir, the point is that I have drunk 2 bottles of wine, feel like I am about to loose my job, have not told people close to me how i truly feel (since leavers & even before then) and worse, I know that this passion which i am feeling (which is inspiring me to type this very post) will be gone in less then an hour.
The point of this post was to express how I feel about society; about a Destiny which has long since been forgotten for the present. Now I am simply mumbling about my issues contained within the greater issues of society which I despise. Guess this would classify as a ‘Fail’ moment. Haha.